Wednesday, October 7, 2009

An Incident at the Church


Last night Dennis and I had the pleasure of cleaning the church. Because we're such generous, selfless and kind people we volunteered to help our neighbor Adam out by helping him with his calling--ward facilities coordinator (a glorified janitor). That's a complete lie. Adam volunteered us to clean the church, and we gladly accepted.

First of all, let me just say how terrifying an empty, dark church building is at night. While I was setting up chairs in the primary room (super creepy), I kept turning around to psyche myself out by a garbage can that closely resembled a man in a gray suit. It happened almost three times within five minutes. In the midst of this torment by the garbage can, Dennis had the audacity to creep up behind me and scare me almost to the point of death . We almost got divorced. But I forgave him.

After laboring over this grueling work for an hour, (hopefully you caught the sarcasm) our last job was to check the bathrooms for toilet paper, and paper towels. We all split up, and I took the men's bathroom downstairs. With a great urge to relieve myself (don't worry, just #1) I decided to use the men's bathroom quickly without anyone noticing. After all, we all split up and my understanding was I was checking this specific men's bathroom. While I was doing my business, I hear someone walk in and I assume that it's Dennis, because the very idea of Adam walking in was just absurd and inconceivable. Here's how the conversation goes, while I continue to relieve my bladder:

me: "Dennis?"

unknown: "Adam."

me: "Dennis?" (thinking, clearly Dennis is playing another joke on me)

unknown: "Adam."

me: (now realizing that it truly is Adam and I'm now mortified) "Oh. Sorry. I just really had to go. So sorry." (I'm still going to bathroom at this point.)

Finally, after what seemed like ten minutes, he leaves the bathroom. I was somewhat confused about the length of time he decided to stay even after he realized I was using the bathroom. The awkwardness was palpable.

After this horrible encounter, I'm not sure how I can actually face Adam again. After moments of contemplation, I finally force myself to leave the bathroom. I surely can't stay in there forever. I find Adam and Dennis, and in an attempt to not make things even more awkward, I apologize again to Adam. Dennis is confused by my apology, but then realizes what just happened and big grin forms on his face.

That is the first time I've experienced getting caught relieving myself in the men's bathroom and hopefully it will never happen again. It was a stupid, impulsive decision that should've been thought through. Honestly, what was I thinking??

Hope you're all having a great Wednesday. Peace.

13 comments:

l.nelson said...

hahahahaha....oh man, this made my day so much better. thank you love. on another note, i've been at a church late at night before, and couldn't agree with you more - so scary. come visit me now. xo.

Carlee said...

I'm just glad you didn't try to use the urinal..

Ashley Engar Blackburn said...

wow. that would've been a disaster.

Anna said...

There is just something so awkward about going to th bathroom when it is silent and someone is with you... then again i cannot compare it to your situation because i dont use the mens bathroom.

Ashley and Ezra said...

I wish you would have been using the urinal... what a funnier story that would have made! Love you! and love your bladder!

Jake and Denae said...

Ashley... I was laughing so hard at this story.. I can just see it all in my mind.. I can just see your face now.. hahahaha NICE ONE:)

The Searle Family said...

Ashley, this is Brekke, I just saw that you wrote on my Meg's blog and I was excited to find yours. Your posts are hilarious! I hope you and Dennis are doing good:)

chelsea b james said...

oh my i'm so glad i just found your blog. i just laughed so hard by just reading your profile. i miss you girl! i hope its ok i added you to my peeps list. laters

Bret and Cherissa Newton said...

Wow, I needed that funny story today. Just wait until you have to clean the temple...

Meg and Colby said...

Ashley, that was so fun to hear from you!! I love blogs because it keeps you in touch with people. Thanks for commenting. ~Meg

Raising Helm said...

Hmmm...the first time you have ever been "caught" relieving yourself in a mens bathroom? ha ha ha- you are hilarious. I would have thought you loved the adrenaline rush-spooky and all. Glad you could entertain us all.

Engars said...

it's kind of creepy that he stayed in the bafroom for any amount of time once he realized you were in there.

amanda james said...

I love your blog, and that post was amazing. Busted in the mens bathroom. Did you ever find out why he was in there so long? cub had the calling of setting up the chairs and it sucked so bad...glorified janitor. We would roll out of bed and set up church moments before sacrament meeting would start. We would be in our pjs and people would start rolling in for church. It was the worst.