Wednesday, November 25, 2009

A Tribute with Gratitude.

As some of you may already know, my father-in-law unexpectedly passed away last Thursday.This experience has been exhausting and grueling, but nevertheless surprisingly uplifting.

I never quite grasped the magnitude of influence this man has had on people until we were faced with his passing. Dennis's dad (Dennis Sr) was truly a man of God. He had a genuine care and liking for children, the elderly, and less fortunate people. He tirelessly served people in his community and was especially drawn towards widows. Dennis and I had the opportunity last weekend to meet and dine with a 92-year-old widow named Lenore. Lenore took to Dennis Sr and was greatly saddened by his death. She told us that he “treated me so well.” She was precious and I couldn’t help but feel sorrow for her loss. The weekend of his death I was amazed at the amount of flowers, meals and visits the Blackburn family received. There was countless stories of Dennis Sr’s gracious love towards people in the community. People loved him and were devastated with the news.

He and his wife had just been called to be mission presidents a couple weeks prior to his death. They had become close to Elder Robert D. Hales through the years while meeting with him occasionally to discuss mission plans. We were honored and fortunate to have Elder Hales speak at his funeral. The service was inspiring. I believe everyone at the funeral was influenced to be a better person.

Through this all, the most astonishing part was my husband. Dennis was resilient, strong and faithful. Not once did he question God or portray anger. Instead, he and his family clung to the Gospel and demonstrated nothing but love and service towards each other. They are examples of truly devoted family members.

I am so grateful for my husband. I have been blessed beyond belief to have him in my life. This experience has brought us significantly closer while my love for him as increased twofold. With the Thanksgiving Holiday tomorrow, I encourage all of us to be more grateful, more selfless, more forgiving and more humble as we reflect on our blessings. Never take any relationship for granted and tell those you love how grateful you are to have them in your lives.

Have a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 16, 2009

It's official. The flu has caught me.

Well actually just a cold. I called in sick to work today and I'm hanging out on the couch to see if I can rid my body of this cold by watching t.v. all day. I'll let you know if it works. And yes I have reason to believe that Mrs. Erin Bradley passed on her sore throat to myself and Lacey. Love you anyway Er.

Stay healthy this holiday season by taking lots and lots of Airborne.

Friday, November 6, 2009

If you need me, I'll be here...

I've been looking forward to this very short weekend trip for weeks. It's finally here. I will be spending the next couple days in some warm weather and in the company of great friends. St. George here we come.

Hopefully Dennis makes it through the weekend.

Have a great weekend.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Great Halloween Costume.

So this year for Halloween Dennis and I decided to be a little creative. And by creative I mean disgusting. To spice things up at our annual DG Halloween party we decided to go as something controversial. A mannish lesbian and a transvestite of course. Dennis really does make a beautiful woman.(Thanks for the pic Jess)

One comment from the night: "Dennis's arms remind me of Kelly Ripa's."

Yes indeed.

On a healthier note--my next "project thankful" goes to Dennis. I know. Big surprise. But really, he deserves it. He is an awesome husband. Mostly because he can put up with me in a stylish fashion. I could go on and on about his many superb qualities but to spare you the cheesy details I'll just stop at he's perfect for me. Love you Denny!

**On a side note. That fat suit girl sitting next to me is Brynn. The Biggest Loser at its best.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Project Thankful

So I don't even know who this infamous "Marta" is but apparently everyone else does. She's made blog history. But I did come across her "Project Thankful" for the month of November and decided to post it on my blog as well, like many other bloggers are doing. What a great way to publicize your gratitude. I don't do this enough.

So for my first "Project Thankful" I thought I say how grateful I am for AMAZING parents. I'm obsessed with them. I must have done something right in the pre-earth life because I am SO BLESSED to be their child.

Pappa Engar:
I love going to movies, going on bike rides or just hanging out with my dad. He is the BEST. As well as being my dad, he is a best friend that I can talk to about anything, while he never judges or criticizes me. He is extremely smart and well educated in his opinions and beliefs. I can always ask my dad political or historical questions and he always knows. I look up to him so much. I genuinely enjoy my time with him and can't get enough!

Mamma Engar:
My mom. Words can't describe how grateful I am for her. She is the epitome of selflessness. Whenever I need something she is HAPPY and willing to do anything. I love going to lunch, going to the ballet, going shopping and watching movies with my mom. She is a great listener and will take time out of her day to do anything for me. I truly love her with all my heart.

More "Project Thankfuls" to come!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I just had to...

Since I don't talk about my family much I decided to brag a little. These are pics of some of our nieces and nephews. We are proud to be these little runts' aunt and uncle. And we might just have the cutest nieces and nephews to ever exist. Ok I'm exaggerating just a little.

**I definitely stole these pics off my families websites...sorry I couldn't resist.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

An Incident at the Church

Last night Dennis and I had the pleasure of cleaning the church. Because we're such generous, selfless and kind people we volunteered to help our neighbor Adam out by helping him with his calling--ward facilities coordinator (a glorified janitor). That's a complete lie. Adam volunteered us to clean the church, and we gladly accepted.

First of all, let me just say how terrifying an empty, dark church building is at night. While I was setting up chairs in the primary room (super creepy), I kept turning around to psyche myself out by a garbage can that closely resembled a man in a gray suit. It happened almost three times within five minutes. In the midst of this torment by the garbage can, Dennis had the audacity to creep up behind me and scare me almost to the point of death . We almost got divorced. But I forgave him.

After laboring over this grueling work for an hour, (hopefully you caught the sarcasm) our last job was to check the bathrooms for toilet paper, and paper towels. We all split up, and I took the men's bathroom downstairs. With a great urge to relieve myself (don't worry, just #1) I decided to use the men's bathroom quickly without anyone noticing. After all, we all split up and my understanding was I was checking this specific men's bathroom. While I was doing my business, I hear someone walk in and I assume that it's Dennis, because the very idea of Adam walking in was just absurd and inconceivable. Here's how the conversation goes, while I continue to relieve my bladder:

me: "Dennis?"

unknown: "Adam."

me: "Dennis?" (thinking, clearly Dennis is playing another joke on me)

unknown: "Adam."

me: (now realizing that it truly is Adam and I'm now mortified) "Oh. Sorry. I just really had to go. So sorry." (I'm still going to bathroom at this point.)

Finally, after what seemed like ten minutes, he leaves the bathroom. I was somewhat confused about the length of time he decided to stay even after he realized I was using the bathroom. The awkwardness was palpable.

After this horrible encounter, I'm not sure how I can actually face Adam again. After moments of contemplation, I finally force myself to leave the bathroom. I surely can't stay in there forever. I find Adam and Dennis, and in an attempt to not make things even more awkward, I apologize again to Adam. Dennis is confused by my apology, but then realizes what just happened and big grin forms on his face.

That is the first time I've experienced getting caught relieving myself in the men's bathroom and hopefully it will never happen again. It was a stupid, impulsive decision that should've been thought through. Honestly, what was I thinking??

Hope you're all having a great Wednesday. Peace.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

America. The Celebrity-Obsessed Nation.

With this latest Kanye West incident, I realized once again how much I abhor most celebrities. Being a celebrity means that you a. feel entitled to everything b. demand and expect respect and adoration from commoners (people that aren't on the "A List") c. put in your worthless two cents regarding any political, economical or social issue and d. treat people how you see fit (even if this means grabbing the microphone out of Taylor Swift's hand and disregarding any common decency or class that may indeed exist in your being--undoubtedly Kanye West had very little common decency or class to begin with, or common sense for that matter.) The best part of Kanye's horrible display of civility on the MTV Music Awards was his distasteful attempt (a monetary present to YouTube) to delete every recording and showing of his "jackass" (thank you Obama) behavior, in hopes that the general and profoundly dumb public will perhaps believe that Kanye's behavior was a figment of their imagination. Nice attempt indeed.

Don't get me wrong. I know there are celebrities that don't fit into this category. But very far and few between.

Let's take Oprah Winfrey for example. She donates millions of dollars to charity, she builds schools in Africa, and she indeed is a famous philanthropist. She does a fantastic job of portraying a selfless, caring and great humanitarian, but let's be honest, she ain't no Mother Teresa. Her arrogance is appalling. I have yet to watch a show in which she treats a "commoner" with as much respect as she does say...Will Smith. Once again, it's this sense of entitlement. Because Oprah is cuddle buddies with Tom Cruise, John Travolta and Cameron Diaz, she is way out of our league. We can't even hang out in her playground. I can't help but cringe and rummage for the remote every time I watch her constant lack of respect she demonstrates towards, I don't know, a firefighter that saved someone's life. Some of you may disagree. But I believe Oprah has a manipulative power to coerce the public into believing she's the greatest thing since the Internet. Don't be fooled. I truly believe because she announced her undying and unwavering support for Obama, thousands, and maybe millions of people voted for him. That's one celebrity with a lot of power, and that in itself is terrifying.

America or perhaps the media has become an entity of idolatry. And who do we idolize? People like Kanye West, Oprah Winfrey and Brad Pitt. Despite the fact that many celebrities don't practice or agree with our set of values or our definition of integrity, Americans continue to place these people on a pedestal. Because they're extremely wealthy, or famous because their dad is Lionel Richie, we tend to look at them with a sense of adoration and forget to address that this person may not know crap about anything valuable or noteworthy.

Maybe we should think twice before we let Tom Hanks, Sean Penn or Arnold Schwarzenegger influence our decisions, beliefs and value systems. Maybe if people realized that things America places value on, i.e. money, fame, power and influence, holds no true worth, then maybe the media wouldn't create this celebrity-crazed society in which we live. Let's not forget that celebrities are just people. Most of whom don't have college degrees or any valid credentials to support their sacred opinions and beliefs that we so dearly hold on to.

I'm done. Peace and love.

Monday, September 7, 2009

SUBARU FOR SALE!! ...and I have no class

So I know that selling a car on a blog is super tacky but I don't really care because we need to sell this puppy. So if you or anyone you know is interested in buying a sick Subaru here's the 411:

Make, Model: Subaru Impreza
Year: 2005
Miles: 75,000
Price: $9,000 with wiggle room

*This car has been great and I'm really sad to sell it. We're selling it because we're in the market to get a new car. The Subaru is all wheel drive and has been a gem.

Let me know if you're interested or know anyone that is!

Peace and love.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Goodbye unemployment...

Being let go from a job can be very discouraging, and quite frankly depressing. But the one good thing about this experience are the opportunities that suddenly presented themselves. If only I knew back in April, when my principal came in my room and told me that they wouldn't be "renewing my contract" that I wouldn't have to fret, indulge in my self-pity, and wallow in my hopelessness, then the bullet wouldn't have been as deep. Things always get better. Always. It's extremely easy to question your ability as a professional, to question your self-confidence and to ask the question, "who will hire me now?". But never lose faith in yourself. That's all we really have, right? When we start doubting our abilities, talents and skills, we only make things more difficult for ourselves. I'm grateful for the experience. It genuinely has made me a stronger person. I know that I'll look back a couple years from now and laugh.

Well...I'm not teaching but I am writing. I got a job as a technical writer for a company called Docuprep. Best part is, not only does my boss live two doors down from me, but he's also my bishop. That means from now on, no missing church, no missing work and never committing a sin that requires a bishop appointment. Ever. But I must admit...he is an awesome guy. Awesome enough to give me a job.

Goodbye unemployment. It was great relationship while it lasted. But, I knew it wouldn't last forever.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Yes. My favorite time of year is almost here.

My favorite time of the year is approaching. I can already feel it in the air. I LOVE fall and everything that comes with it. Only during fall is when I really miss college. Why? Because I LOVE Utah Football! Here are some other reasons why I LOVE fall:

1-First and foremost...I'm OBSESSED with Halloween. I love anything scary, gory, Satan-like and fear-inducing.
2-Haunted houses. Ok, ok. I know I'm not 16 anymore but let's be honest. I will be going to haunted houses until I'm 90.
3-The warm days and cool nights. Fall weather is perfect.
4-Colors. Who doesn't love the trees during the fall in Utah??
5-Horror movies. Now I actually have an excuse to watch these. Even though Dennis and I watch at least two a week. We're secretly horror movie junkies.
6-Hot chocolate. Cool weather=7 11 hot chocolate.
7-Fall clothes. My fave. I love sweaters, boots, jackets, and scarves.

The only bad thing about fall is winter is right around the corner. And I hate winter.

Happy early fall!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

To my wife Ashley Engar (someday she will change her name to Blackburn).

Greetings to all. My name is Dennis blackburn, the husband of Ashley Engar. It is close to three in the morning and I can't sleep, so I have taken ash's blackberry from the nighstand as she sleeps. I figured I will get tired really fast as I try to do a blog post from a phone.

I shall do a tribute to Ashley for the following reasons:
1. I love her more than anything in the whole world.
2. We are constantly trying to annoy each other, and I know that nothing annoys her more than being corny, lovey, and what most would agree.....human.
3. Two days ago I got on her facebook and changed her status to "Ashley smells." its time I make it up to her.

Ashley is the coolest. She just taught me the definition of "superfluous", and trust me, I am not being superfluous when I say she is the coolest. Did you know she rode a bicycle 111 miles today? Not only that, but she rode it with a group of men who do extensive training and whose bikes also weigh half as much as hers. Oh yeah, she also just had a major knee surgery on November and a knee scope not even a month ago. Pretty incredible, eh? On top of that, you won't believe what she did after the race. Most people who ride 111 miles grab a couple days worth of food, the tv remote, and their phone, because they know they won't be walking for a couple days. Ash would have enjoyed that, but instead she went and babysat her two nieces who absolutely worship the ground she walks on.
You are probably asking yourself "what the hell were you doing Dennis?" I was pased out asleep on the couch (explains why I can't sleep tonight) as she made dinner, changed two diapers, and played with puzzles intended for a three year old.

This is just one days example of incredible she is. She is constantly doing things like this. She has just started cooking, and I assure you all she is a hell of a cook. We went mountain biking iin Jackson and she biked up and down mountains most men won't attempt. When she was wrongfully and unjustly let go from her teaching job in park city, she received letters and remarks fro countless students and parents with remarks such as " I never liked English until I had you." Or " my child is coming home from school for the first time ever with an interest I literature."

I know I'm preaching to the choir because if you are reading this, you already know Ashley and how great she is. For all of you men reading this, first of all, you shouldn't be reading blogs. They are womanly and lame. Second of all, I'm sure your wives are great, but Ash is the best.

It is now 3:45. Ashley informed me a couple weeks ago I'm a poor communicator, so hopefully this will express myself a bit better. I set out with the endeavor to be as corny as I could. I have reached a level of corniness I never knew I could attain. I love you Ash, and can't wait for tomorrow when you ae awake again. Goodnight.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Favorite new show.

I have discovered the most amazing show. The Office will always be on the top of my list but I find myself actually laughing out loud for an entire hour watching "WIPEOUT!" Not only are the commentators comments funny but watching your average Joe or Jane (usually the contestants are really uncoordinated) completely eat sh*& is the most hilarious thing I think I'll ever witness. As I watch I'm amazed that these people don't break bones and have major head injuries after running through the obstacle course. From the looks of it anyone can get on the show. Your only requirement is to be really uncoordinated and over 18. There are actually obese contestants that try their hardest to even attempt at getting through the course, and in doing so risk their lives because a. they're obese and b. they're obese and uncoordinated. It's rip roaring funny. And yes I do find humor in watching people almost kill themselves.

Dennis and I were watching last night and decided that we are going to try to get on the show. The contestants on the show are embarrassingly horrible. It's almost like the producers won't allow anyone to participate who has had any history of athleticism. Dennis is confident that he would win the whole thing and take the $50,000 prize! Well we shall see.

I highly recommend watching this if you haven't. It's on Wednesday nights at seven on ABC.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


As some of you may already know I don't have a job. Or a kid. So in case you're wondering what I do all day I'll tell you. Nothing. I've had the case of the lazies. Before summer came I dreamt of ways to spend my days free of work. Reading countless books, writing, trying out new cooking recipes (or at least one), biking, writing my thank you cards from the wedding (which took place 5 months ago), finding some volunteer opportunities and perhaps starting a new hobby--the violin (don't laugh). Sadly, most of that has not transpired. And yet here are some things which I have done with my free time:

-Watched probably 15 hours of "The Office" (some would argue this is time well spent)
-Watched Regis and Kelly on more than one occasion. I have come to realize that they spend half of the show talking about useless information that somehow I find so mesmerizing that I can't even glance away from the t.v. screen.
-Actually attempted to watch soap operas. My one question--how are these shows still on t.v.?
-Facebook. A mind trap indeed.
-Blogging. I obviously don't DO the blogging. That would require work, but blog surfing on the other hand doesn't require much physical activity or brain usage.
-Looking at celebrity/gossip magazine websites. I can't believe I actually admitted that.
-Cleaning on occasion. If time permits me to.
-Glancing out the window from my blue couch to notice, my neighbor going on daily bike rides, my landlord stopping by daily to visit her son (he lives next door--when this happens I hide underneath the blanket so she can't see me lying on the couch all day), the mailman dropping off the mail at precisely the same time every day (I actually don't know the time...morningish), and a little bird that likes to sit in the tree right outside the window.

These are things that Dennis asked when he calls me around 2 pm after he's been working all day:
"What have you been doing all day?"
"Did you go grocery shopping?"
"Is our house still a mess?"
"Have you taken a shower?"
"Have you taken a shower in three days?"
"Do I have to cancel our comcast and Internet?"
"Did you write on our (Blackburn) website?"

Poor Dennis. But I must say that I do have quite an extensive goal list. Here are some things I need to accomplish this week:
1. Write and send out our thank you cards.
2. Pay comcast bill. We don't want that to be canceled now do we!
3. Clean house.
4. Do laundry.
5. Go grocery shopping and attempt to make a dinner. That sounds so housewivish.
6. Find a job. This is a must do.
7. Mail Laura's P90X guide back to her. I promise I'm doing this today Laura.

I have realized that I am much more productive when I actually have a job. I tend to manage my time better and get things done. Unemployment, though very appealing, can be very destructive. I found myself waking up from a second nap today around 1:30 and looked at myself in disgust. How is it that a 25 year old can spend endless hours doing nothing and feel ok about it? Well I can't, really. Yesterday I actually contemplated getting pregnant because I'm bored. That's not a good sign.

Hopefully you all are spending your time much more wisely than I am. You probably are because you have jobs and kids. I wonder what that's like.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Little Red Riding Hood Here We Come!

This Saturday, Carlee and I will attempt to ride 100 miles on a bike. Yes, you heard me right. The annual Little Red Riding Hood bike tour is finally here, and we're registered!

I have grown to slowly appreciate biking. I say slowly because it was more of a forced friendship. My knee, which is equivalent to a 95-year-old, morbidly obese man's knee doesn't allow me to walk (very well), use stairs (very well), hike, run, skip, wrestle, do yoga, play soccer, use the stair master, use the tread mill, snowboard, water ski, squat or anything that requires a knee. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier to have a prosthetic leg. Do I want pity? Maybe. But in all seriousness, does anyone have a saw? Even though I try to get people to feel bad for me, I know it could be worse. Much worse. What if I didn't really have a leg? Well, then I couldn't BIKE! Biking is my new discovery, that allows me to get a great cardio work out while my knee is in absolutely NO pain. Genius, I tell you.

I read Laura's blog about running (which I thoroughly enjoyed) and decided to advertise and promote biking. If anyone, regardless of any knee injuries, is interested in cycling you should heavily consider riding with me (and Carlee when she moves back) this summer. Like running, it's always better to ride with a group of bad ass girls!

Let me know.


Monday, May 4, 2009

Drama, drama, drama...and more drama.

I know I'm guilty of being one of those lazy bloggers. But I've been extremely bombarded with stress, drama, change, you name it, so bear with me. This summer when I have absolutely NOTHING to do, I will hopefully blog to you some interesting tales of the "nothing to do summer of 2009". So now that that the tides have died down a bit I decided to update you on our current status.

Dennis recently graduated from BYU in construction management (congrats Dennis!). He scored a sweet, potentially career-oriented job with Layton Roofing. He's been working there for a couple weeks and really enjoys the hard labor, in the sun, getting burnt while his diet consists of Rockstar engery drinks and sunflower seeds. He's such a construction worker. But other than the rigorous, back-breaking work he engages in everyday he actually sees this job as something that could pay off with a little tenacity and patience. Before Dennis can achieve ultimate success in his career he must experience some humility ;).

I on the other hand got laid-off from my job. Well technically they decided "not to renew my contract" for next year. This is an hour and a half story in itself. So if you have some time this summer to hear about the infamous and controversial "budget-cut lay-off" at Park City High School, give me a call because I'll be lying on my couch with nothing to do.

Being let go from a job forces to you contemplate your career and the $20,000 degree that got you that job. So while crying and whaling in my pitiful and sorry-for-myself state, I've been toying with the idea of pursuing another career.

Here are my options and by all means, please tell me where you think I fit best:

1-Nursing. Yes this means I will be going back to school for perhaps three or four more years.
2-Writing. It's what I majored in. Maybe I should pursue it??
3-Teaching...ugh. Am I just a sell-out or should I really not be teaching?? Maybe I should ask my principal.
4-Serving tables. I've done this for four or five years. I could make this a career.
5-Stay-at-home-wife. This entails doing nothing. However, I am good at that. I don't think Dennis likes this option.

Aside from the job drama, Dennis and I are doing well. We are adjusting to marriage at a successful rate (in Ashley terms). Dennis still remains in a perfect state, while I, being the crazy, hormonal, fickle and hard to please wife, am slowly learning humility, patience and love. Despite Dennis's unrelenting trial as he married and continues to stay married to Ashley Engar, we are happily married and couldn't be in a better place in our lives. Dennis is truly a resilient and patient guy. I have to applaud him on being so damn perfect. I'm one lucky, VERY lucky woman. Just ask my family.

Other recent highlights include:

My best friend, Laura's FANTASTIC wedding. Who would've ever thought the Laura and Ashley lesbian relationship would come to an end. It really hasn't though. Just ask our husbands. Poor Dennis and Cortney. But really, the wedding should be in US Weekly as one of those "top celebrity weddings". Perfect in every sense of the word. Way to go Laura!

Reed and Amber's wedding. Dennis's brother was married last weekend. We're both truly and extremely happy for Reed and his success in finding his perfect match. Congrats Reed and Amber!

My brother buying a house. Yes Colby finally finished medical school and is about to finish his internship. He now has a REAL income and they are now home owners. Congrats!

The Swine Flu Scare at Park City School District. Thus I am blogging. We don't have school. Why? Well because the Swine Flu is a fatal virus that will send you to the ER when infected!! You may turn into a ZOMBIE! Don't talk, converse or associate with anyone that may have the Swine Flu! Beware...or you too may be infected.

Ashley investigating and dabbling with a raw food diet. I'll admit it. Laura tends to rub off on me from time to time. But logically it makes sense. Just think about it. We'll see how it goes.

And last but not least...hanging out with Car and Ben in San Diego. It's pure ecstasy pallin' around with these two. I've never felt so NOT like the third wheel with a couple. I love them and hopefully we'll be seeing a diamond REAL soon.

Well folks....that's the end of the Blackburn update but we hope to hear from you soon. Other than just blogging updates.

Monday, March 9, 2009


I received and email from a friend today informing me of the upcoming episode of "Big Love" to be aired this Sunday on HBO. They will be showing and depicting sacred temple ceremonies and clothing. This of course is an outrage and completely disrespectful. I have emailed HBO my complete disapproval and disgust in their programs and implored them to reconsider airing the show. If you so find it in your desire to stand up to complete disregard to someone's religion then please contact Time Warner or HBO. Maybe if we get enough people to stand up for such hateful hypocrisy then maybe (slight chance) they won't air it.

I'm really growing to become quite disgusted with mainstream America. To all the liberal HBO producers: IF YOU TEACH TOLERANCE THEN DON'T BE A HYPOCRITE! LEARN HOW TO RESPECT SOMEONE'S RELIGION! STOP SPREADING HATE AND IGNORANCE.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Going Private...

Sadly it's true. My brothers scared me into submission of privacy. Email me at and then we can continue to be bloggers together.


Ashley and Dennis

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Another day another dollar...back at the grind.

Working. As of lately I have grown to despise working. Since when did reporting to an authoritative figure (your boss) become something we all have to deal with on a daily basis? Shouldn't we all be treated equal? I find my job very stressful and difficult. It's not easy waking up Monday through Friday at 5:30 AM, not only to discipline/babysit 15 and 16 year olds but also to plan lessons, grade, maintain efficient organization, attend mandatory workshops/meetings, maintain comradery with fellow teachers, deal with upset parents, and listen and obey a demanding, yet profoundly tactless principal. My brother worries that someone from my administration will one day read my blog about the atrocities of teaching and fire me. Well brother, don't you worry. My principal, just on Wednesday, referred to me as Ashley "Enger". If she still can't pronounce my last name, I highly doubt she'll spend time online google searching "Ashley Enger".

The point of this post is to publish my envy and jealously of stay-at-home-mom's. Not to say that being a mother isn't a job, but at least you don't have to deal with meeting a higher authority's objectives and outlandish requests. I also discovered the most of us in the work force are pretenders. We pretend we like our bosses to their faces but behind closed doors (or in the hallway at school) our true feelings come to the surface. We as teachers vent our inner most hateful thoughts of superiors. "Why must we be subordinates?!" We cry out. "Why?! Why?!"

I had the pleasure today to attend my good friend Shanna's sealing to her husband Nate. It was awesome. Another awesome event was going to lunch with a few friends afterward. We started talking about getting pregnant and working vs. staying at home, and the overall consensus reached was that yes, staying at home is much better than working. So why, I persistently ask myself, am I working? After marriage comes staying at home then the baby? Or after marriage comes the baby then staying at home. Someone may need to clarify the order of the phrase for me before I quit my job.

My hope is that someone reading this blog can relate to me on some level so I know I'm not alone out there. And to all those stay-at-home moms out there--good for you. You are obviously very intelligent and deserve to be commended for your wise choice in having children.

If you find that I get pregnant much sooner than expected, just read this blog again and you'll know why. Sorry. Not one of my most optimistic posts.