I couldn't keep it in any longer. I have been dying to complain about the morning sickness, puking, food aversion, and constipation. These sound too similar to pregnancy symptoms? Well, it's because they are.
Dennis and I finally decided to pull the trigger and start a family. I am 12 weeks pregnant today, and figured it's time to the let the cat out of the bag. Pregnancy has brought a variety of emotions, moods and feelings, including anxiety, fear, elation, joy and a little depression. When we first learned we were pregnant, the day before our 2nd year anniversary, I was in shock. We had been trying for a few months so I anticipated a negative pregnancy test. But when that second line showed up, I couldn't believe it and took three more tests that day. All positive. It was crazy.
Now three months into my gestation, I have not only accepted that I'm pregnant but have embraced it with all the nausea and puking. When friends and family have complained about pregnancy before, I always thought to myself "What a bunch of babies. Really, it's that bad?" Now being completely immersed in the symptoms, I can confidently say, yes. It is that bad.
Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful to be pregnant and to be able to get pregnant with relative ease. But I'm not going to sugar coat it. Being pregnant is hard. I know for some it really isn't that bad. I guess I'm not one of those lucky ones. It has been hard waking at at 5:15 am to teach my pilates class, all the while trying not to puke. It's been hard to muster the motivation and strength some days to get off the couch and go grocery shopping. I now look at people with more than one kid, and wonder, how in the world did you put yourself through another pregnancy?? An answer to that question came from my sister-in-law. The body somehow releases a hormone that enables your mind to forget the pregnancy symptoms. I think that sounds like a myth. I think women are just masochists.
Another interesting symptom is food aversion. Yes complete aversion to all and any food. I also remember a friend of mine relating her experience of her distaste for food during her first trimester. What? That doesn't make sense. Oh but it does now. It's interesting and kind of a cruel joke, to be hungry every two hours but dislike anything that goes into your mouth. It's like food has suddenly become tasteless. There are so many times when I have eaten a Cafe Rio salad only to think, "I remember when this salad was amazing." I hope to get there again one day.
I'm approaching my second trimester and I'm banking on feeling the second trimester "high". Apparently it's the trimester when you feel your best, have more energy and actually start showing instead of looking like you've eaten too many donuts. I'm excited for this phase and can only hope that the nausea will subside. The day it does, I'm going to celebrate by doing something awesome. A cartwheel perhaps.
Pregnancy is not all bad. This past week, especially, I have been really, really excited to be a mom. I keep thinking about the day we deliver and how amazing it will be to see our baby come into the world. We bought our first baby item. A baby hiking backpack from the REI garage sale. We got a killer deal. Can't wait to take junior Ash or Denny on his/her first hike up to Dog Lake with his/her big sister Stella. It will be marvelous.
Oh and in case you were wondering, I am putting a pregnancy countdown button on my page. Yeah so cheesy, and judge me all you want.:)
Little baby around 12 weeks...